So… it’s official. I’m homesick. And I feel guilty about it.

I’m not homesick for important reasons at all. I could forgive myself for being homesick because I miss family and friends, and even though I do miss everyone, that isn’t the cause of my blues. My homesickness is also not caused by patriotism, politics, the weather (it’s unusually warm and sunny here) or any academic or rational reason. I’m homesick because I want to watch “Jon and Kate Plus 8” and “To Catch a Thief” in my bed made up with my flannel sheets, make myself dinner with my George Foreman, take a nice temperature-stable shower that doesn’t come from a hose, and then buy an Izze soda at Target with my Chase Visa, or better yet with a $20 and no change… Oh, and take a nice stroll outside without being overwhelmed by car fumes and cigarette smoke.

Although I am obviously learning some Russian, I’m not learning as much as fast as I’d wanted to. I have also learned that unless I live here for an entire year (which I don’t want to do), I will most likely never be fluent and I am certain that my future career will not extensively involve the Russian language. I have also learned I don’t like living in the city. I’ve known at heart I was a suburban girl, but I’ve always thought everyone should live in a big city for at least a portion of their life… I now think 4 months might just be enough time for that.

I’ve also realized even more how important food is to me. (Hey, I am the one who oddly said “cooking is my life,” when I was like 7.) Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I don’t want to work in a restaurant or be a chef, but I really, really miss cooking. Even improvisational dorm room cooking sounds amazing right now. I’ve never manage to appreciate how diverse American cuisine is until I got here. Although the food I get at home is delicious, I really miss having tacos one night and spaghetti the next. I realize that my normal food is only a watered-down version of whatever ethnic food it was inspired by, but Russian food is pretty limited. Although there are nice ethnic restaurants, (that are very different from their American counterparts… and I feel in my heart that ours are somehow more authentic…) eating out is generally more expensive in Russia and it isn’t normal to eat out unless it is someone’s birthday.

One thing that I don’t have to miss is reading, although I’ve purposely been reading really slowly so that I don’t run out of English materials. I can buy English literature here, but I’m trying hard not to buy money on things that I don’t need, can’t take with me, or eat.

I just bought my second bag-lady purse because my first one broke. I feel that large purses are the best way to conceal my laptop, but they are expensive and my first one already has a broken handle. This time I decided to buy one for almost twice the price of the first, but I still couldn’t bring myself to spend enough to be sure that it wouldn’t break (it would have to be all real leather…). Keep your fingers crossed for my new bag – I’m going to go write myself up a budget for the rest of my time here.